the half-space complex

why is it that we are confined to such a routine of space? for instance, even though many teachers/professors do not assign seating for a class, people sit in generally the same place everytime. sometimes it's because people are sitting by friends, true. but often it's merely habit.

i know if i go to a friend's house for dinner, i always wait to see where they want me to sit. because one chair is the guest chair. and everyone in the family has a place. 'no, don't sit there, that's dad's chair'. it was the same in my house too. growing up, i always sat on the side of the table facing out the window because i liked to look into the backyard, even in the winter when the leaves couldn't block the setting sun. my mom sat to my right, the side of the table closest to the kitchen counters and stove where she could get up to grab things as needed. my dad sat across from me, and my sister and/or brothers and/or guests sat to my left. always.

i bring this up because i've noticed this odd habit in my sleeping. until recently i've slept in a twin bed. you can't really pick a side in a twin. i suppose you can either hug the wall or the edge, but that switched according to whether i was feeling cold and cozy or hot and sticky. now i sleep in a full size bed (larger than a twin, smaller than a queen). i sleep with two regular pillows, two decorative down pillows, a body pillow, a squishy mogu pillow (from my roomie k!) and a teddy bear (that i've been sleeping with since 5th grade and he's looking a little ragged these days...)

despite the pillow company, i have much more space than am used to. especially since all these pillows also lived in my tiny college bunks for the last four years! you'd think now i'd be sprawled out, sleeping diagonally, alternating sides at the very least. yet i find i sleep on the left (if you lie on your back facing the ceiling). closest to the nightstand, clock, cell phone on the floor, pile of poetry books... makes sense i suppose, somewhat. but it's not like a king sized bed. i could easily roll over and hit the snooze even from the right side.

i know my parents each had their own side of their king sized bed. mom on the left, dad the right. each near their own respective dresser/nightstand. and now, though still young and single and sleeping quite alone in a full sized bed, i sleep on the left, always. with my body pillow generally occupying the right side.

is this habit engrained in us our whole lives? are the habits of choosing a space in class, a chair at the table, a side of the bed all really in preparation for sharing our lives with a spouse later on? am i subconciously sleeping on the left side of the bed so as to leave space for someone to eventually occupy the right side?

i think tonight i'll sleep on my back, limbs spread out, making 'snow angels' in the sheets, using my whole space, my whole self...