the box.

i'm not at all ashamed to say i have a box. you know you all have one too. that container you keep tucked away in the closet, or under the bed, filled with old love notes from ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, movie ticket stubs, dried rose petals, and the bowtie/garter from your senior prom.

my box is heart shaped with a collage of rose pictures. and yes, it USED to contain all the things listed above. (ok, so there may still be a card or two from an exboyfriend, and i do still have the bowtie from my senior prom.) now it's a much slimmer stack of memories... cards, letters, notes from friends and family that have truly touched my heart. like the ones you just can't bear to throw away when you take them off the mantel.

tonight as i was cleaning my closet and putting away laundry, i allowed myself the small distraction of flipping through the box. graduation card from a dear high school teacher; birthday cards from kari, molly, sarah; christmas card from dad. but the thing that hit me the most was two folded up pieces of white paper.

the pages contained brief notes of love and support from all my friends written when my mom passed away in 98. sometimes i forget how wonderfully supportive they all were then. they came over and shared skittles and laughter in my kitchen when i was home from visiting mom in the hospital. they took me to the mall the day before the wake so i could get my mind off things. they sat around on the couches in mcmurrough funeral chapel talking, and took me to bakers square for dinner. and they gave me these two pages of paper after the funeral. offerings of shoulders to cry on, lean on, ears to talk to, whenever i needed it. so many thoughtful and heartfilled sentiments. i don't know how i could have made it through without them all.

and i wonder if they had any idea when they wrote it that i would still have those pages over 7 years later. that i'd pull them out and read them every once in awhile and thank God for them, and know in my heart that every word is still true. there are only a few people on there that i talk to anymore. life steps in, and people go their separate ways. but i know if i really needed someone to talk to, i could track down any one of them and they would listen. i was so lucky to have such incredible friends in high school. i think alot of people go through their entire lives never having a group of people like that. it makes me a little sad i don't keep in better touch with them, that we all let it drift apart. but mostly i'm grateful.

so courtney, molly, mary, kelin, jenny, tina, michael, bean, andrew, shoe, ben, spiegs, jon, lawrence, kate, nirvana, kari, shmee, christine, kiri... thank you. you've all touched my life, and your support when i needed it most has stayed in my heart, and will stay, forever.