RENT

RENT the movie 11/23/05
No Day But Today

fives.

5 details about me...
1. i am a poet/grad student/future professor
2. i miss europe and am addicted to traveling
3. i love when my sister's giant dog sits on my lap
4. i don't like mac & cheese
5. my car's name is Stanley

5 details about your appearance right now...
1. new pink henley from AE
2. my favorite Teva flipflops
3. hair half up and crimpy (slept with it wet and braided)
4. 5 rings, a watch, two pairs of earrings
5. black dress pants (i'm at work)

5 things you did yesterday...
1. 2 loads of laundry
2. watched the ABC season premiers
3. lots of homework
4. uh... took a shower
5. took a nap (it was an exciting day, you can tell)

5 memorable things you did in the last year...
1. studied in Prague for a month
2. completed my first year of grad school with all A's
3. learned to drive stick shift (kind of...)
4. saw Wicked twice
5. attempted to waterski

5 Favorite movies...
1. garden state
2. finding neverland
3. wizard of oz
4. dead poet's society
5. pirates of the caribbean

5 things that make you happy...
1. visiting Holland
2. road trips
3. email pals
4. drinking with good friends
5. Cap't Jack's porch

5 things that impress you...
1. people who follow their dreams
2. people who stand up for what they believe
3. mothers with young kids
4. tying a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue
5. amazing writers who don't have to try

5 things that don’t impress you...
1. people without ambition
2. closed-mindedness
3 people who try to be cool
4. liars
5. drunk driving

5 things you cant live without...
1. love
2. faith
3. friends/family
4. passion
5. hugs

5 people I am tagging to do this survey...
ALL of you. i know who you are. come on, no avoiding it.

hello autumn.

summer days are gone too soon
you shoot the moon
and miss completely...
(norah jones)

rain dog cafe closed... :(

Lovely.

I shook her hand today.

Defying Gravity

WICKED the musical, trailer

Ana Gasteyer defying gravity in the Chicago cast

is this a poem?

some days i write things, and i'm just not really sure. most of the time i think it's my confused brain oozing lazily onto paper...

it's not the wine
that turns my cheeks
blush--one glass
white, three red. i watch
the night turn navy
through the curved cups,
over the crisp rim, and can't
help but compare it
to the way my bare foot
feels on this old wood porch.
my toes curl and expand with
anticipation, cracked heel
catches splinters between
boards. but it's all still
beautiful, somehow--the goblets
and my toes meeting
yours on this porch. the first
night of many lingering
glances across empty
bottles and imperfect wood.

the reoccuring pattern of my life as told in quotes:

"there's too much not to want it all to happen." -william olsen-

"i wanted to hurry into the work of my life. i wanted to know whoever i was, i was alive for a little while." -mary oliver-

"slow down you crazy child, and take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile." -billy joel-

"i've been dating since i was 15, i'm exhausted, where IS he?" -charlotte york, sex & the city-

"i keep thinking tomorrow is coming today, so i am endlessly waiting." -counting crows-

"turns out not where but who you're with that really matters." -dave matthews band-

i get excited, and invigorated, and content... and then i get restless, and impatient...
rinse. lather. repeat.

brand new day

amazing what a good weekend, good friends, a little dose of the city, quality tv programming, and a good first class of the semester will do for a girl's attitude.

i'm feeling refreshed. optimistic. excited, but not in an anxious way. just calmly excited for all the possibilities my life holds.

i love being a writer.

in a rut.

do you ever feel like you do the same things day after day... and none of it is worth anything?

i'm feeling discouraged about my life this week. i think my summer was so great, full of good times with close friends and then travels in europe and great writers... that now life is a huge let down. work and class isn't enough. something is still missing and it leaves me feeling down alot. or at least not particularly happy.

for one thing, i've started to worry a bit about life after my masters degree. i'm suddenly very anxious to fit all my classes in and be done with it. i think i'm feeling tied down. but what am i going to do when i'm done? i'd like to finally have a job in the literary world, finally be doing something i love. but that's so overwhelming, where do i even start? i want to be a professor, but i have no real teaching experience in an academic setting. and i never even took freshman comp, so how am i supposed to teach it? i guess i need to keep reminding myself that other roosevelt graduates who have similiar experience to my own are now teaching at community colleges, so i must be in an ok place. i'm just starting to worry that i'm going to have a hard time finding a job and even worse, that when i do i might suck at it.

i think what's missing in my life is community. i'm so used to being overinvolved in a million things... dance, lit mags, multiple groups of friends, close knit classes... and now all of that is missing. a whole year later and i'm really feeling the effects of leaving hope college. roosevelt is great and all, but i'm not getting the community because it's not a traditional campus. what matters most in life are the people, the relationships. i have about 2 friends here and that's all. great friends, don't get me wrong. but that sense of community and involvement is leaving a big boring space in my life. and i don't know how to fix it.

when life gives you lemons . . .

just add vodka.

Just a Ride (Jem)

Life, it's ever so strange
It's so full of change
Think that you've worked it out
Then BANG
Right out of the blue
Something happens to you
To throw you off course
And then you

Breakdown
Yeah you breakdown
Well don't you breakdown
Listen to me
Because

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
No need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you round and round
Sometimes you're up
Sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared
Don't hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside
But don't forget it's just a ride

Truth, we don't wanna hear
It's too much to take
Don't like to feel out of control
So we make our plans
Ten times a day
And when they don't go
Our way we

Breakdown
Yeah we breakdown
Well don't you breakdown
Listen to me
Because

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
No need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you round and round
Sometimes you're up
Sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared
Don't hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside
But don't forget it's just a ride

Slowly, oh so very slowly
Except that
There's no getting off
So live it, just gotta go with it
Coz this ride's, never gonna stop

Breakdown
Don't you breakdown
No need to breakdown
No need at all
Because

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
No need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you all around
Sometimes you're up
Sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared now
Dry your eyes
It may feel so real inside
But don't forget enjoy the ride

"i keep thinking tomorrow
is coming today
so i am endlessly
waiting . . . "
(counting crows)

but the thing is,
someday
tomorrow will come.
and some things
are worth waiting for.