my vice

you know those songs you wouldn't want to admit to owning, but you love to blast in the car and sing along at the top of your lungs when you're alone? yeah, this is one of those songs for me. i just love it. yay for the Goofy Movie.

Open up your eyes take a look at me
If the picture fits in your memory
I'm drivin' by the rhythm like the beat of a heart
And I won't stop until I start to stand out

Some people settle for the typical thing
Livin' all their lives waitin' in the wings
It ain't a question of if, just a matter of time
Before I move to the front of the line
And once you're watchin' ev'ry move that I make
Ya gotta believe that I got what it takes

To stand out
Above the crowd
Even if I gotta shout out loud
'Til mine is the only face you see
Gonna stand out 'til you notice me

If the squeaky wheel is always gettin the grease
I'm totally devoted to disturbin' the peace
And I'll do it all again, when I get it done
Until I become your number one

No method to the madness and no means of escape
Gonna break every rule I'll bend them all out of shape
It ain't a question of how, just a matter of when
You get the message that I'm tryin to send
I'm under a spell, I'm in over my head
And you know I'm going all of the way 'til the end

To stand out
Above the crowd
Even if I gotta shout out loud
'Til mine is the only face you see
Gonna stand out 'til you notice me, yeah

If I could make you stop and take a look at me instead of just
Walkin' by
There's nothin' that I wouldn't do
If it was gettin' you to notice
I'm alive

All I need is half a chance, a second thought, a second glance'll prove
I got whatever it takes
It's a piece of cake

To stand out
Above the crowd
Even if I gotta shout out loud
'Til mine is the only face you see
Gonna stand out
Stand out, hey
Stand out
'Til mine is the only face you see
Gonna stand out
'Til you notice me

i heart halloween.

i'm all wrapped up in prague

prague
(Damien Rice, hidden track, "O")

i pack my suit in a bag
i'm all dressed up for prague
i'm all dressed up with you
all dressed up for him too
prepare myself for a war
before i even open up my door
before i even look out
i'm pissing all of my bullets about
wrap myself in a bag
i'm all wrapped up in prague
i'm all wrapped up in you
i'm all wrapped up in him too
prepare myself for a war
and I don't know what i'm doing this for
trying to let it all go
but how can i when you still don't know?
i could wait for you
like that hole in your boot waiting to be fixed
i could wait for you
but what good would that do but to leave me pricked?
cheers darlin'
here's to you and your lover...
darling
i got years...
pack my suit in a bag
all dressed up for prague
pack my suit in a bag
all dressed up for...

You'll sit alone forever
if you wait for the right time
what are you hoping for?
I'm here and now I'm ready
holding on tight
don't give away the end
the one thing that stays mine

-Jimmy Eat World

You might have been a Catholic school girl if:

1. shaving your legs was optional, even when wearing skirts
2. at one time you liked your uniform
3. you got kicks out of being able to wear your pjs to school
4. your skirt stopped fitting but you were too lazy to buy a new one so you just pinned it
5. it cost you $100 to park in the school parking lot
6. everyone hugged each other to greet people
7. you violated as many dress codes as possible and when you got caught pretended that 'you didn't know'
8. you have countless obsessions with guys you have never met or talked to
9. you had contests by lifting eachothers skirts up
10. you have no problem joking around about being a lesbian

feet.

i googled my name today, just for fun. and i found this... it made me happy. :)





dan morrison made this video as part of my poetry collaboration project for jack ridl's 455 class at hope. so thanks to him. and nick drake for the song. and karen, for her beautiful feet. :)

What Your Underwear Says About You

Admit it, you've dreamed of being a underwear model. You're sexy, in that pinup girl, tease sort of way.

The Underwear Oracle

lazy.

so i have this problem. my dirty laundry is laying on my floor all across the front of my dresser. clothes that i've worn for only a short time that can be hung up and reworn are piled on top of my plastic underwear drawers. my suitcase is sitting in the middle of the room from two weeks ago, still with clothes and things in it because i've only been unpacking piece by piece as i need something or decide to wear something that's still in it. hm...

a funny little message left by a dear friend while i was at the bar for the 3rd time this week :)

Sidra00: i feel like your life is almost like a toned down sex and the city... it kinda makes me jealous

diet & exercise

as kari and i look through the pantry, the fridge, the freezer, and stand leaning into the pantry again... i asked:
"what do real people eat? i feel like there's got to be more food in the world than what we have."

my dinners this week have consisted of:
monday, yogurt & wheat thins
tuesday, potato skins & spinach dip w/beer @ Friday's
wednesday, applesauce & wheat thins followed by chips and salsa w/beer at Mickey Finn's

grad school is a very healthy lifestyle. not to mention that my physical activity consists of typing (i have very strong fingers) and walking up and down 4-6 flights of stairs for class.

an actual conversation from this evening

*courtney sticks her orange price tag from her diet dr pepper on my shoulder*
courtney: look love, you're worth $1.29
*i scrunch my face to look sad, angry, and perplexed all at once*
kari: hey! i could buy a beer at fatman's for less than you! hm... beer or katie

hm.

notice how a few posts ago i typed in this whole big "five things" survey and tagged all my friends to also fill out the survey and put it in their own blogs? and notice how none of you have done so?

either no one reads this. or i have no real friends.

a real update

you know those days when you wake up groaning because your head hurts and you know if you get up it'll be worse and that in 10 minutes you'll also feel nauseous so you vow never to drink again?... yesterday was one of those mornings. except, while kari and i were eating our hangover food (aka scrambled eggs) we decided that thursday night was SO much fun, we'd do it all over again. haha!
liz mcnally is in town this weekend and it's like she never left. yesterday andra, liz and i went shopping at old orchard. i bought pumas. why can't i say no to shopping? i was doing so well... but on the bright side, i bought the pumas and did NOT buy the pinstripe pants and halter top at express OR the cargo khakis at jcrew OR the corduroys at gap. i did however participate in the 5 for $25 deal at victoria's secret (liz got 3 and i got 2). but i figure you can never have enough cute victoria's secret underwear so it's ok (i'm pretty sure i could go 2.5-3 months without doing laundry and not run out of vicky's. hm...)

i've already read 2 full novels since the semester started on sept 6th. i have 200 pages to read for wednesday. this book better be good. not to mention in the next week i have to turn my 7 page work-in-progress into a 25 page fiction story. i am not a prose writer. i think i have ADD, i can't write long things. this is a problem. this is why i am a poet. i miss being in poetry workshops.

speaking of poetry workshops, a year ago was our little DPS reunion in holland, and my calendar reminds me of it every day. for christmas last year i made karen a calendar, and made myself a copy. october is covered with pictures of the DPS... kyle reading stafford, will sipping his stein... me and karen hugging... lindsay, molly, karen, toddie and i talking around the table... and of course, the billy collins poem bar time, which i would post except that this entry is getting long. so i will save it.

i love going to bed when my room is a little chilly. wrapping up all cozy with my body pillow and teddy bear and mogu and comforter and sometimes an afghan one of my grandmas made me. but i hate getting out of bed when it's cold in the morning. it's so unmotivating! i need a programmable thermostat so i can set it to kick in an hour before i get up and make the world nice and toasty.

yesterday walking around the outdoor mall was freezing. it was misty, almost snow-like, and the wind cut right through my sweatshirt to my bare arms. i love fall and am excited for chilly weather (what? who am i?) but i hate when it's so cold that i feel chilled from the inside out. i hope winter slows down and lets me have some sunny, cool fall days first. and where are the pretty trees? a few are turning yellow, but i'm holding out for the red and orange.

fright fest tonight. woohoo! yay for six flags and our season passes. courtney hasn't used hers yet, she still has the voucher. we hope they still let her process it and take her picture and everything. haha.

ok, this is absurdly long. i just felt like i hadn't posted anything like this in a long time, it's been all song lyrics and such. whatever.

i haven't had this much fun in a really long time......................

back to sleeping with Damien Rice...

We might kiss when we are alone
When nobody's watching we might take it home
We might make out when nobody's there
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate

Don't throw yourself like that in front of me
I kissed your mouth your back
Is that all you need?
Don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
I can't take my eyes off of you

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on

Older chests reveal themselves
Like a crack in a wall
Starting small, and grow in time
And we always seem to need the help
Of someone else
To mend that shelf too many books
Read me your favourite line

Nothing unusual, nothing's changed
Just a little older that's all
You know when you've found it,
There's something I've learned
'Cause you feel it when they take it away

What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?
What am I, darlin?
The one you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?
Oh what am I? What am I darlin'?
I got years to wait...

Cold, cold water surrounds me now
And all I've got is your hand
Lord, can you hear me now?

I remember it well
The first time that I saw
Your head around the door
'Cause mine stopped working

Rain it wets muddy roads
I find myself exposed
Tapping doors, but irritate
In search of destination

oh billy. your lyrics are as good as those sweet piano playin hands...

"So many faces in and out of my life
Some will last
Some will be just now and then
Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes
I'm afraid it's time for goodbye again
Say goodbye to Hollywood
Say goodbye my baby
Say goodbye to Hollywood
Say goodbye my baby "
-Billy Joel-