soundtrack

ever have one of those moments where you feel like you're in a movie? you know, that scene where the main character is alone, and the music is perfect, and the scenery is perfect, and there's some giant realization happening in their head that's so palpable you can taste it?

so i decided to go running after work today, enjoy the decent weather before the snow rushes in. (yes, running. me. don't laugh, i tried.) i put on my much neglected running shoes and went to independence grove, the local (and gorgeous) forest preserve. got out of my car, started walking toward the lake path while i put my headphones in and got my playlist of recent downloads up and running. just as i approached the lake jaime cullum started singing "high and dry" in my ears. and there was the lake. the wind. the seagulls on the beach and in the air. the tall cattails. the sun shining through the thin clouds. the smells of grass and autumn. the bright gold black eyed susans. the gradual pickup from a walk to a jog. i felt like i was in a movie.

"you must be the change you wish to see in the world." thank you ghandi. it was one of those moments. except i think, you must be the change you wish to see in yourself. yeah.

well any of you that know me are aware... i don't run. so beautiful as this moment was, halfway around the lake i started walking. i made two laps, so i did jog on and off a little more. but toward the end of the second lap i remembered why my wearing headphones in public is a dangerous thing. i discovered this when i used to take the el to and from class all the time. i forget that i'm wearing headphones. mostly i start singing or humming along, not realizing that everyone around me can hear me but not the music in my head. this was different. i was walking along to these fabulous jazzy piano tunes, and i can't help but move to the rhythm. walking in time. shaking my head a little. stretching my arms. i discovered i'd rather be doing across the floor combinations in jazz class than walking/running on a park path.

so i went out on a limb. i walked off the path and up to a grassy area where it looked pretty deserted. there were a few paths crossing through, but not a whole lot of people passed me while i was there. i started the song over (these are the days, by jaime cullum) and just started dancing. i'm sure i didn't do anything spectacular. but it felt good to move, leap, turn, stretch... (pirouettes are surprisingly easy in nikes on the grass). i did a sort of lazy improv for about 2 or 3 jaime cullum songs and 2 or 3 new john mayer songs, and then decided to head back to the car. i was actually sweating for a change. man i miss dancing.

and i had another movie moment walking back to the car. john mayer's "i'm gonna find another you" came on. (GENIUS title/lyric/concept for a song, by the way. if anyone doesn't own his new album "continuum" yet, go buy it. right now.) just listening to the piano and guitar and drums, and a few trees starting to turn orange, and johnny singing "you've got your reasons, but you'll never have my rhyme, i'm gonna sing my way away from blue, i'm gonna find another you"... i just felt empowered somehow. like the end of the movie when the character figures it all out, right before the happy hollywood ending.

of course, i tend to enjoy more ambiguous, open endings in my literature as well as my movies. which is probably good, because my life is one big ambiguous turn after another. resolution is overrated, i think. but it's nice to have a few moments along the way that feel somehow grounded.

i was SO proud of myself this last weekend for putting together and sending out poetry submissions to 4 literary magazines. and of course now, days later, while i'm sitting here in a bad mood ranting and raving in my head i realize... that all but one of them had pre-stamped return envelopes from BEFORE the stamp cost change. ugh. if the people really want to publish my stuff, i'm sure they'll find me by email, phone, or adding stamps. but chances are, i won't get rejection slips back. which sounds like a positive thing, i mean, who wants rejection slips in the mail. but it also means, i won't know when the magazine is done with them, and won't know when it's safe to send the poems to a different magazine for consideration. shit.

My Interests College

My Interests Collage!

Create your own! Originally Written By ga_woo for LJ, Hosted and ReWritten for MySpace by darkman424

it feels like it turned fall overnight. the cool weather. the gray rain.

much as i love summer, and am not quite ready to give up flip flops or my short khaki skirt... i'm kind of... excited.

the colored leaves. apple picking. cider. hot coffee. scarves. jeans and sweaters and sweatshirts. my pumas and roos shoes. the smells of pumpkins and burning leaves.

i really do love fall. and i'm ready for change.

Dear Leo

The horoscope on my MSN home page regularly freaks me out. I generally don't believe in horoscopes, fortunes, fate, any of that stuff. But I like to read them for fun, who doesn't? Really though, I cannot even BEGIN to express how frequently this horoscope is dead on with my life. And so again...

"Right now you might be in the process of moving from one job to another, dear Leo. This might even be a total change in career. Your hard work is paying off, though it may not show up in your bank account for a while yet. There might be contracts to be executed first. Your social life may be put on hold until all facets of this transition are worked out. Don't be intimidated, however. You've made the right choice."

today is september 1st.

first of all... when did THAT happen? goodbye summer... i'm starting to think that might not be a bad thing. i like fall. good time for change.

second of all... september 1st means it's my official graduation date. goodbye grad school, hello real world. i'm ready. let's go.