merry (early) Christmas to me!

i was gonna just post a photo here of the Christmas present i bought myself today... but then i went a little crazy with the notes on flickr. so... just go look at it there :)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktb8482/309246417/

i'd just like to say.... it's a good thing i live alone right now. i feel like i've hardly had time to breathe, let alone clean. and when i do have the time, i don't have the energy. so the mess just keeps expanding. my goal for the next few days is to take care of this. but meanwhile... check out the state of my apartment (this doesn't even really do it justice):

latest musical discovery - joshua radin

Digging a hole and the walls are caving in
Behind me air's getting thin but I'm trying
I'm breathing in
Come find me

It hasn't felt like this before
It hasn't felt like home before you

And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you
I know you're scared that I'll soon be over it
That's part of it all
Part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall

It hasn't felt like this before
It hasn't felt like home before you

And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you
And I hate the phone
But I wish you'd call
Thought being alone
Was better than was better than

And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel this way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you
Can't get my mind off of you

And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you

thankful

i'm thankful for the most amazing sister a girl could ever ask for. and for a great brother-in-law. and the most adorable 3 and 4 year old boys i have ever known, who love me, and whom i love more than i ever knew i was capable of.

i'm ALSO thankful that neither my sister or i fell off the roof or the ladder yesterday... that the ladder didn't collapse on any small person, dog, or car... and that no children were lost or injured during the afternoon of playing in the garage while mom, dad, and aunt katie attempted to hang christmas lights.

oh thanksgiving... :)

twentysomething by jaime cullum

After years of expensive education,
a car full of books and anticipation,
I’m an expert on Shakespeare and that’s a hell of a lot
but the world don't need scholars as much as I thought.

Maybe I'll go travelling for a year,
finding myself or start a career.
I could work for the poor though I’m hungry for fame
we all seem so different but we're just the same.

Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat,
aren't things more easy with a tight six pack?
Who knows the answers? Who do you trust?
I can't even separate love from lust.

Maybe I’ll move back home and pay off my loans,
working nine to five answering phones.
Don't make me live for my friday nights,
drinking eight pints and getting in fights.

I don't want to get up, just let me lie in,
leave me alone, I'm a twenty something.

Maybe I'll just fall in love that could solve it all,
philosophers say that that’s enough,
there surely must be more. Ooooh

Love ain’t the answer nor is work,
the truth eludes me so much it hurts.
But I’m still having fun and I guess that's the key,
I'm a twenty something and I'll keep being me.

I’m a twenty something.
Let me lie in, Leave me alone.
I’m a twenty something.

how does anybody ever find a job? ever?

deja vu

you know those moments when you can picture something really clearly in your mind? like, out of nowhere, suddenly you can see it. where it's so close and so real, it's almost like you were JUST there. not just like a photograph, but like a 3 dimensional memory in your head.

right now i'm in vienna. and not just anywhere in vienna, but on the walk from the schoenbrunn underground stop to the palace gates. up the elevator and on the sidewalk crossing the street where the sketch artist set up her work. and walking along the tall, thick palace walls in 100+ degree weather toward the gates. maybe for the palace tour. maybe the tiergarden (zoo). or a trip to the schwimmbadd (pool).

i visited there several times in 2003 (including during the transportation strike/repairs when karen and i got lost and walked the entire length of the palace and then some to get home). and i made a day and a half stop in vienna in 2005, and visited schoenbrunn briefly for a walk around the grounds. but i'm sitting at work and i swear, out of nowhere, i was there again. i can see it in 3D. the artist. the trees. the walls. the cars. the street. the elevator. why now? and why this image? of so many amazing things i saw in vienna, i picture this little portion of a walk i made maybe 5 or 6 times in my whole life.

memory is weird. but it's these little images of places like vienna and prague that remind me i built temporary homes away from home. far far away. and those were some of the best months of my life. and i hope there are more european summers in my future. i miss it. if i close my eyes, i'm still there...