"where did you come from?"

i come from a two story yellow house with green shutters, purple and red geraniums, and a white magnolia tree. from shag carpet in green and brown and red, and a top step that made a perfect bed to lie and listen to mom and dad downstairs after i was supposed to be asleep. i come from a street that backed up to the park, just a 20 foot hike through the "woods" to the soccer fields, baseball diamonds, playground, and grassy hills to roll down. summer included family dinners grilled on the back patio, open windows in the kitchen, and the sounds of the nightly little league game. it was the era of big wheels and roller skates and thick sidewalk chalk on the driveway. the backyard was the perfect place for slip and slide, and mom would bring out huge slices of watermelon to eat under the yellow crank umbrella. family gatherings meant baseball on the diamonds, playing clogo drano on the tornado slide, and bocce ball in the field. i come from a region where winter meant snow, and the plows turned around in the playground parking lot, so we'd walk through the woods and dig tunnels in the mounds and go sledding in the ditch and pick burrs and twigs off our coats the whole walk home. i come from waking on saturday mornings to the sound of mom's piano students, and from helping prepare dinner on weeknights while she taught in the living room. i come from a home that was always open to friends, but where i was encouraged to imagine on my own. where the swing set became an obstacle course on american gladiators, but the cherry blossom tree was a quiet place to climb and read. i come from lullabys and backrubs with my big sister late at night, and knocking to one another in code through the walls after saying goodnight. i come from a house that faced east to watch sunrises, and backed west to watch sunsets. from a place for beginnings and endings. from a foundation for love and imagination, for simplicity and acceptance, for heart and a sense of home.

by Sarah for her mom... from me to mine...

"Wintersong"
by Sarah McLachlan

The lake is frozen over
The trees are white with snow
And all around
Reminders of you
Are everywhere I go

It's late and morning's in no hurry
But sleep won't set me free
I lie awake and try to recall
How your body felt beside me
When silence gets too hard to handle
And the night too long

And this is how I see you
In the snow on Christmas morning
Love and happiness surround you
As you throw your arms up to the sky
I keep this moment by and by

Oh I miss you now, my love
Merry Christmas, merry Christmas,
Merry Christmas, my love

Sense of joy fills the air
And I daydream and I stare
Up at the tree and I see
Your star up there

And this is how I see you
In the snow on Christmas morning
Love and happiness surround you
As you throw your arms up to the sky
I keep this moment by and by

tonight i put on my sports bra, white tank top, grey youth large insync dance theatre tshirt with the ends of the sleeves and the collar cut, black cargo dance capris, and low cut white socks. i pulled my tap shoes out of the closet and set them by the door. i spent a good hour walking around in my dance clothes, making dinner, then eating, sitting on the couch, etc before i left for class. man it feels GOOD to be in dance clothes. i haven't taken class since april. even the last two years, i was taking class once a week and not at all in the summer.

now i think back to college... i was dancing almost every day. 40+ hours a week depending on insync season, faculty dance concerts, student concerts, sacred, etc. i lived in dance clothes. it was an exciting day when i could shower and get dressed in "normal" clothes and wear my hair down and not worry about ruining it or needing to change for dance. i was always going to academic classes in jazz pants, sitting around the dorm/apartment in leotards, layering up my dance clothes to brave the snow on the way to the dow/durfee/knick. man. i miss it.

so i just went to take a tap class at gus giordano's. last class before christmas break. i bought a 3 class card, figuring i could commit to coming back a few more times in january. i went with a friend, and she'd like to go back a few more times. but really, i'd like to go back ALL the time. i miss having this in my life. i wish dance classes weren't so expensive, i'd take them every day! there was a sign at giordano's looking for people to do some basic maintenance work 3 days a week for an hour at a time... free unlimited dance classes! um, hello! if i didn't live 45 minutes away, i'd have signed myself up on the spot.

at any rate, maybe i can make this tap class a weekly thing. or at least a more regular thing. cause i miss it. my life doesn't make sense without dance in it. silly me for trying to get by without it.